Just cropdusted the office
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
