Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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