i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
