so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
