is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
