Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
