she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
