Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
50% drunk capacity currently
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
