you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
