...so i touched it.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
