I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got inside last night via doggy door
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
