The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
