the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
