Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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