All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
