he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The air was thick with penises
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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