billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
