It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
