I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
