yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
