Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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