He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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