Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
