dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
