what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
