My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
