the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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