You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
