This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
