is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize