All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
