i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
