he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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