i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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