I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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