she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
