Your tits are I can't wait for
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
