I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
