The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
