saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
