i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
