i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
