Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
