The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
