I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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