I hate your face
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize