if you like me you must not know who I am
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
