I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
