Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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