Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize