Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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