the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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