2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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