I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
