first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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