Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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