CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
