Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
