How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my poor anus
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i out mim tonsoeep
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