its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
