I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
